Tuesday 23 September 2014

First 6 Days...

How does a person describe the confusion of being thrown into a situation that is completely different than what is normal? Trying to describe what these past few days has been like is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Normally words come easily to me so bear with me as I attempt (about 7th time..) to write what it has been like.

I feel like one giant, ongoing anomaly. I feel like I haven't even left Canada yet at the same time I know that I am across the ocean. Maybe it's the fact that about 50% of the people here are Canadian or that I have been able to talk to my friends who are at home. It seems like I could just hop in a car and drive to church or back to my house... It's so strange to me. 

So far I have successfully completed a 10km walk with no socks in Birkenstock's (blisters!!!!), a church service very different from home, a day full of orientation, and being hungry every time I go to sleep. It has made for an amazing week. Finding a new routine has left me so exhausted that I have been going to bed at 10:30 almost every night (so strange...). I kind of want that to change and it might as I settle in more and more every day. I have to read 44 chapters from the Bible in order to finish it in the time that the school requires, which isn't hard but being told what to read took a bit of fighting the rebellious tendencies that I have. Anyways... the internet is going to shut off soon so I have to wrap this up :) 

I miss home but I love it here and I trust the God has me here for a reason and I am happy to see what He does with me while I am here. 

Assignments.... :)


An Assignment that I did for school this week...

~Psalm 5 (ESV)~
1 Give ear to my words, O Lord;
                                                                          Consider my groaning.                                                                  
2 Give attention to the sound of my cry,
My King and my God,
For to You do I pray.
3 O Lord, in the morning You hear my 
Voice;
In the morning I prepare a sacrifice for You and watch.
4 For You are not a God who delights in
Wickedness;
Evil many not dwell with You.
5 The boastful shall not stand before Your
Eyes; you hate all evildoers.
6 You destroy those who speak lies;
The Lord abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man.

7 But I, through the abundance of your
Steadfast love,
Will enter your house.
I will bow down toward Your Holy temple
In fear of You.
8 Lead me, O Lord, in your righteousness
Because of my enemies;
Make Your way straight before me.
9 For there is no truth in their mouth;
Their in
most self is destruction;
Their throat is an open grave;
They flatter with their tongue.
10 Make them bear their guilt, O God;
Let them fall by their own counsels;
Because of the abundance of their transgressions cast them out,
For they have rebelled against You.
11 But let all who take refuge in You
Rejoice;
Let them ever sing for joy,
And spread your protection over them,
That those who love your name may
Exult in You.
12 For You bless the righteous. O Lord;
You cover him with favour as with a
Shield.

~God, thank You for being my hiding place from my own sin. Thank You that the destruction of my sin is
 Not my job because I would chose not to some days.~
These chapters (Psalm 4-7) bring me comfort when I feel like I am drowning in my own sin. It reminds me that I can hide in His presence for such evil cannot dwell there. He will save me when I call out to His name and all that is evil within me must obey His voice. It reminds me to rely on His strength and saving power because I get tired trying to fix myself. I am utterly grateful for the grace through which God can look down upon me and allow me into His Presence. When I am in his presence He destroys the part of me that speaks lies, murders, lusts after meaningless things, and deceives those around me. It brings me the greatest joy to be in His house and great comfort to know that even across the ocean, I can never leave His Presence. It reminds me that my salvation in not based upon my ability but on Christ’s. To know this makes serving Him and walking with Him daily so much easier.
Verses like Psalm 23:1-3 and Philippians 2:12-13 remind me that God is the one who does the work in my heart so that I may want to do His will and hear His voice. He teaches me to hear His voice upon my heart in ways similar to how I teach my horse to hear my voice through my actions. He is consistent and faithful. It is only by the grace of God that I can even desire to enter into His presence and serve in His Kingdom let alone hear His voice, for that I am eternally grateful! His favour covers me and changes my heart to reflect His. To be able to read His word and see how He works in our hearts takes away the stress of having to strive because it shows me that I can never be who He wants me to be, alone, but that He is the one who does that work in my heart. Obedience like that of Noah, Joseph, Abraham, and David flows out of a heart changed by God. I pray that my heart would be so changed and continued to be changed all the days of my life.


Wednesday 17 September 2014

Missing the Train~The First Few Days

Sovereign by Chris Tomlin is definitely my theme song for the last few days. Flying across the world by myself; missing my train in Stockholm and then running to a bank late at night in a small town on my way to Vetlanda definitely made me thankful that I know a God who is in control.

Through the whole journey I have felt God's hand in everything. From super friendly custom guys in Iceland to the many people helping me with my huge suitcases on and off trains. Even by causing the ticket guy to give me my new ticket for free when they never do that (he made it clear that he normally wouldn't give out free tickets because of missed trains). Also, He has kept me from getting overwhelmed by the language difference and missing my train (which caused me to take a bus late at night...): He has been very faithful.

I was listening to a Francis Chan sermon a few weeks before I left and in it he was talking about how he knew God loved him because the Bible said but also because God would answer even his smallest prayers. Prayers that weren't really even prayers but mutterings of his heart like wanting a better golf club but refusing to buy one because he didn't think a golf club was more valuable than helping someone else. God then chose to bless him with a better golf club at his next speaking engagement. He went on to say that since he has been "seeking the kingdom of God above all else" he has seen how faithful God is. I have always seen His faithfulness but this summer and on this trip, I have seen His hand in more things than ever before.

This doesn't mean that I won't encounter difficulties, because I did, but that when they present themselves I can trust that God will provide a way through them. It has nothing to do with my worthiness but completely because He chose me for Himself. Now I just have to trust that He will provide the friends that I will need to do what He has called me to do while I am here.